Adultery and bonus

TIMES INT'L

Satiricus was quite stirred by Prezzie’s first press conference in two years. But he was most intrigued by Prezzie’s answer to the question as to how he, Prezzie, would deal with the temptations of huge oil revenues corrupting his people. Prezzie replied, “God couldn’t confirm that His people wouldn’t be compromised by adultery. He gave Ten Commandments, and people are still compromised.”
As Satiicus wondered why Prezzie connected stealing money with “adultery”, he fell asleep and dreamt Prezzie answering the question in his Diary.
Dear Diary,
Most people think with all the oil money thiefing starting already, being selected by God for this job, I should have stressed his 7th Commandment, “Thou shalt not steal,” or even the 10th Commandment, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s goods”, as the guideline my Ministers should adhere to. It’s clear the people remember The Jubilee Park; The Bottom House Warehouse; and the Ansa Contract, the Parking Contract, and all the other thiefing going on.
But what’s behind all the stealing and thiefing, Dear Diary, is the adultery being committed by my Ministers and assistants. They thief to pay for the adultery. As a military man, I have to distinguish between the proximate cause — the thiefing — and the ultimate cause — the adultery. So I have been preaching at Cabinet meetings the relevant Commandments: #6 “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and #10 – “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife”.
Both thiefing and adultery are sins of the flesh, Dear Diary, but adultery is worse. Remember, even a God-fearing President like Carta admitted he had “lusted in his heart”? And the less we talk about Clinten, the better. But to be honest, Dear Diary, I have a confession to make: I, too, have lusted — with my heart and loins — when I was young in the army.
Just like my namesake King David, who committed adultery with Bathsheba, for which his people are still suffering after the civil war it caused. And me?
David G.

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